Back at the Podium

9 years have passed now since my grandma Beatrice “Lorene” Perkins left this earth. 3/11/2015.

My grandma played a big role in my first 26 years on this earth. She was my Sunday School teacher growing up. I remember memorizing all 66 books of the Bible in order when I was probably 9 or 10 years old in the living room of her home off Strawberry Lane in the southend of Louisville.

Around that time, although my memory is a bit fuzzy, but she also played a big role in me coming to Christ. I would spend the night at her home quite a bit. One of those times, I believe it was Spring Break of 1997 or 1998, our church was having an old-school ‘revival’, a nightly service for a week straight.

The week before, I would write out questions on a small notepad, hand them to her, and she would write the answer and hand the notebook back to me. I can’t recall exactly what my questions were, but they certainly pertained to the gospel, sin, judgment, and salvation.

The first night of the revival, I didn’t go forward but the second night, I did, laying my sins at the foot of the cross and was baptized shortly thereafter.

My grandma played a big role in that; from teaching our Sunday school class when I was a young boy to answering my questions about salvation, to remaining a consistent presence in my life until age 26.

For the last almost 5 years, from 2010-2015, she would invite me over to speak once a month at the senior home where she lived. It’s where I cut my teeth and learned to preach 30-40 minute sermons.

Almost 9 years later, I got another opporunity to return to the podium, so to speak, in speaking at our church’s men’s group “Bridged” Fellowship.

It was a great opportunity presented to me by Mike Bellucci and I’m grateful for it. The topic was “rejecting loneliness, pursuing community” and the focus was pushing back against isolation by pursuing doing life together.

I chose this topic because that’s something I wrestle with. I think it’s more difficult once you are married with a family. Your identity becomes wrapped up in providing for the family and a schedule revolving around the child mostly.

As men, we can get wrapped up in our work or in family events and not have any estalished friendships outside of that. We can be in survival mode or in idol mode when it comes to our work; we can become workaholics at the expense of our family or we can become so engrossed in family activity that we are blind to the needs around us.

We can put so much pressure on our spouse to be our savior or have so much of our identity as a parent wrapped up in the success or failure of our children that we neglect, first, the Lord Jesus, and two, other available friendships within the Church.

The focus is that we are not to journey through life alone, which can be easier said than done. Because friendships can sometimes prove messy and inconvenient. But if we’re not loving others, investing time and energy toward others, than how can we truly call ourselves disciples (followers) of the Lord Jesus? In short, we can’t.

If we are in survival mode or in idol mode, however we try to dismiss it…If we are not putting ourselves around others and making space for others in our lives, then there’s no way we’re going to grow towards Christ.

In closing, it was a great opportunity to get back at the podium after 8 years away. The influence of my grandma continues to live on. May I pass that same influence on to my son and to others.

Psalm 9:1 & 9:9

The opening to this psalm states that the psalmist will recount (give an account of an event or an experience) all the wonderful deeds (intentional acts) of the Lord.

That’s what I would like to do in this blog-space: give an account of a recent event in our lives that will end in ‘giving thanks to the Lord with my whole heart’ and hopefully will stir up your heart either to praise God or to serve someone else in a similar way. Or both.

What a perfect opening in Psalm 9:1 for the current season of life we find ourselves in.

A week ago, January 4th 2024, we woke up and went about our morning routine like any other normal Thursday. We were actually running a bit behind as our son decided to sleep in, which is a rarity during the 4-year-old stage of life.

By 7:55am, we were able to load him up into the backseat of my dad’s Jeep and kiss him goodbye, telling him I’d be over around dinnertime to pick him up.

Boy, was I wrong.

About 30 minutes later, around 8:25am, I got a call from my mom. My first thought was ‘uh oh, this is not a good sign,” as my mom and I communicate almost exclusively via text and there not a ton of communication to begin with.

“Your dad’s been in an accident. Everyone’s okay. Jackson’s okay. I don’t really know what happened.”

And then she went on to say how their neighbor from across the street named Wally was going to give mom a ride to the scene. We got there shortly after that call. EMS reported they checked Jackson out in the ambulance and he seemed perfectly fine. The Jeep dad was driving was about 150 feet out into the grassy median area between the east and west bound Snyder Freeway. Hood was raised. Front end completely smashed in from where he apparently hit the guardrail and re-rerouted into the grassy median, thankfully coming to a stop.

“Everyone is okay.” That’s the first thought. But that’s certainly not the only thought or feeling that floods your heart and mind during a traumatic event like that. Yes, it could’ve been much worse and it wasn’t. Yet, when it’s your baby boy (and my dad), it hits much different.

There’s no need to unpack all those thoughts and feelings, but suffice it to say, that event seemed to be the ‘icing on the cake’ of several back-to-back-to-back negative events in our family’s life recently.

Enter Daniel Melson and the power of community. He shot me a text early in the week asking how we were doing. Last Sunday’s community group time was heavy, and not just for us, but you realize within community that most everyone has something going on – either in their lives or in the lives of people they know and care about.

I responded to Daniel’s text by saying something to the effect of: “It’s been tough. Wife wants to stay home and keep him wrapped in a bubble forever (which was no lie).” I also said that the heat in her Malibu wasn’t working, which is unfortunate when you’re heading toward mid-January and the temps seem to suddenly drop from 45 degrees down to 10 degrees with little-to-no warning.

Daniel responded “what’s wrong with the heat?” and I explained it had been going on and off randomly for the last week or so. But more recently, had started to stay off for longer periods of time which was concerning.

Then Daniel started going to work. Granted, all I did was explain the car’s heating issue, I didn’t ask for any financial help. He said he knew a guy that ran a car care ministry in Mt. Washington. We dropped the car off Monday evening. Got a call Tuesday saying everything should be fixed, to which I was surprised as initially I thought it would take the mechanic until Thursday-Friday just to look at it.

Daniel drove us out to Mt. Washington (mind you – about a 30-minute trip from the south-end where we both live) Tuesday evening after his d-group wrapped up. We get out there, I turn the car on. Another blessing is that the mechanic fixed the loud sound her car use to make by fixing something with the exhaust manifold. So that was the first thing I really noticed a difference in. However, the heat didn’t work. I let it run for about 5 minutes, still no heat. Turned it off and back on and tried again – still no heat.

So Daniel drove me back home and followed up w/ the mechanic first thing this morning. The issue was an electrical component was faulty as well as the blower motor was shot and needed replaced. A few hours later, Daniel texted me that everything was fixed and good to go. Wife and I then drove out to the mechanic, picked it up, and drove it home with no issues. A quiet engine and plenty of heat. Praise God!

I write this as a testimony of God’s working in a world that often seems not to be. What do I mean by that? That it is possible, within a time-frame of 6 days, to go from a worried panic that our son and my dad could’ve both lost their lives to being blessed randomly by a brother I’ve gotten to know better over the last 2 months in our book group and blessed by our community group as a whole.

And even in that kindness, life still takes on sad tones. We have times, sometimes ongoing times, of not liking our job, of wondering how to wisely order and prioritize our time, especially with Jackson who today is 4 and tomorrow seems like he’ll be turning 18. Work in this context seems to get in the way – until we realize we need something off Amazon which seems to be weekly at this point. And it’s a frustrating cycle.

Yet, even within the frustrations of life, the Lord is still at work. I’ve seen it with my own eyes between Monday evening and Wednesday afternoon. Daniel Melson didn’t have to step into our issue – but he did. And he stuck with it and with us until it was taken care of. THAT’s the mark of a true brother because, what he’s really doing, is pointing us to the goodness of God through the love of community. The only reason other brothers and sisters want to help out is because they’ve been filled with the Holy Spirit and have experienced the same grace of the Lord that we’re experiencing. And it makes me want to bless others when the opportunity presents itself.

To close, Psalm 9:9b states “The Lord is…a stronghold in times of trouble.” And this truth, this reality, that the Lord is a stronghold (a place that protects against an attack) is what we as Christians should grab hold of and walk by faith in, and should drive our praise and worship. The recounting of the Lord’s deeds are most always deeds he did at our lowest points and during our darkest times.

And make no mistake about it: a quiet engine and heat blowing out the vents in wintertime are wonderful deeds. Thank you Lord for your provision and love on full display in the context of everyday, ordinary community.

Money Woes

It’s hard to wrap my mind around money sometimes. At one point in my life, I thought I was pretty darn good with money. I think I managed to save a little over $15,000 by the time I was 19. Was able to put over half down on a two-year-old car, of which I would drive for 4 years, pay off the remaining balance and total the car 2.5 months later towards the end of 2011. Fast-forward almost 12 years now, I still have my 06 Jeep Liberty approaching 160,000 miles. Thankfully during the 3+years of COVID and working from home, the Jeep sat in our driveway, otherwise it would probably be well over 200,000 miles at this point.

I mention the car and Jeep story because it feels like that’s kind of where- whatever perceived wisdom I once had with money- went down the crapper, and it’s been an uphill climb ever since.

Although, at the end of 2021, my wife and I were able to set a goal – and hit it- of paying off her student loan which totaled a little over $14,000 I believe. We were able to celebrate Christmas and a few days later, with a couple days to spare in 2021, we paid it off! This, too, was a highlight. Maybe the first money highlight I had had since 2007.

Even still, fast forward a couple years later to the present moment and money woes have reentered our story.

Now, I don’t want to be blind to the fact that suffering, in all of it’s various forms, is extremely relative. It’s currently 33 degrees as we near the end of November and I’m positive there are many folks who will be sleeping in tents tonight. I’m confident there are people who have had loved ones pass away recently or maybe have received terrifying medical news concerning themselves. And, on the flip side, there are those with plenty of money to go around, who are not the least bit peaceful or joyful or loving with that wealth – perhaps flat-out miserable. All that said, money woes are apart of our story, perhaps not quite a ‘thorn in the side’ as the apostle Paul mentioned, but seemingly darn-near close.

It began with a leaky roof. Water dripping into our kitchen on days when the rain would pour down. If it was one of those light-mist kind of rains, no issue, but I’m talking about the downpours. So we’d sit out a bucket, collect the brown-tinted water, dump it out and carry on. Until we got tired enough of it and called out the professionals. Well, the first guy came out in July 2021. Walked up on the roof with a nail gun, stated he thought he had found where water was coming in, and only charged us $200. Later I found out, that guy was fired by the company, as he supposedly went around doing this to multiple customers. Anyhow, we reached out to a 2nd company, who were way more professional but perhaps not as detailed as they could’ve been because it took them not one, not two, not even three tries, but four tries to get it right and that involved the initial repair, replacing the flashing and shingles on the side where the leak was occurring, finally replacing the siding, and yet it still leaked. Until another guy came out,went up to the top of the roof and was able to pull up the corner of the roof 3-4 inches. Since then, magically, no more leaks! But it took 4 tries, and a substantial chunk of money, to get there. I’m not super worried about this issue though. We have a plan for tackling paying off the siding. Aiming for end of 2024 which would be awesome, but even if we go into early 2025, that’s not the worst thing either.

Then there’s the medical side of things. As we were approaching the Christmas gift-buying season, which for us started in October, my wife woke up Saturday morning about 5 weeks ago and stated she had uncontrollable abdominal pain and needed to go to the ER. Turns out she had developed and possibly passed a kidney stone. That has led to a nice bill for $800. Followed by her contracting COVID which in honesty we’ve probably all had in our home for the last 2+ weeks. And on top of that, I’m due for my next colonsocopy, which instead of every 5 years is now due every 2 years as I’m entering year 15 of having Ulcerative Colitis and my chance of the C-word apparently goes up by 10-15%. Looking back at my 2021 scope, that will cost another $800-$900. Yes, that’s with insurance.

Yet, in all these things, things both in the budget and not in the budget that life throws our way, I’m reminded that the Lord is a provider. Even if our savings dwindle, my worth and value doesn’t come from a number in our bank account. (There would never be a ‘perfect’ number or amount, anyhow). On the flip-side, if our savings drastically increase, my worth and value isn’t to be found there either.

My worth should come from the Lord who provides through each season and each moment of life. We had a couple from our church recently who randomly blessed us with $500 and I know personally that I will never forget their act of kindness. It makes me want to bless them in the future but to bless others in general and have that heart of compassion in general. Praise the Lord for this provision!

I write this to remind myself that, primarily, my worth is not found in money whether we have a little or we have much. But also I write this to remind myself to praise the Lord who is worthy as each of things are either paid off or paid upfront in full. Praise the Lord for health insurance, praise the Lord for siding on our home, praise the Lord for two full-time jobs, praise the Lord for no roof leaks. But, and here’s the main point, even if we had none of those things to praise the Lord for, if our roof still leaks, car breaks down, water heater goes out, HVAC fails, our health declines (because in truth all of these things are going to happen) – we would still praise the Lord just for who He is and for what He has done through Jesus and through the Holy Spirit.

My worth is not in what I own,
Not in the strength of flesh and bone.
But in the costly wounds of love
At the cross.

– The Gettys

The one who truly thanked God

Luke 17:11-19

11 On the way to Jerusalem he was passing along between Samaria and Galilee. 12 And as he entered a village, he was met by ten lepers,who stood at a distance 13 and lifted up their voices, saying, “Jesus, Master, have mercy on us.” 14 When he saw them he said to them, “Go and show yourselves to the priests.” And as they went they were cleansed. 15 Then one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, praising God with a loud voice; 16 and he fell on his face at Jesus’ feet, giving him thanks. Now he was ^pa Samaritan. 17 Then Jesus answered, “Were not ten cleansed? Where are the nine? 18 Was no one found to return and give praise to God except this foreigner?” 19 And he said to him, “Rise and go your way; your faith has made you well.”

This section of scripture from the gospel of Luke points to an unfortunate reality within many of our hearts: whenever God heals us or helps us or provides for us or saves us, we often fail to give God the praise and glory for such things. In fact, it is far easier (it seems) to find many more reasons to complain than it is to thank God.

Look at God’s chosen people in the Old Testament, the 12 tribes of Israel. They were literally brought out of Egypt by God’s powerful hand and yet the praise always seemed short-lived, especially in comparison to all the many instances of the Israelites complaining in the wilderness. How quickly they forgot, we exclaim, while we must also admit that we too quickly forget to give God praise.

This passage in Luke also illustrates that Jesus wants to draw near to us and have us draw near him. We don’t praise the Lord to check a box or feel warm fuzzies on Sunday mornings. We praise the Lord to become closer to Him. To know Him. And then to make Him known to others. Clearly, not everyone healed, not everyone who experiences the power and goodness of Christ himself, has the same reaction. For only ONE came back to thank Jesus for healing him.

Which side do we fall on? Are we in the 10% of people who consistently recognize the power and goodness of Christ and praises Him for this? Or are we in the 90% of people who get from Jesus while never giving anything to Him in return? All ten lepers cried out for mercy. All ten received that mercy from God. But only one seemed to want to draw near to the Lord himself in relationship. May that be true of us in our day to day lives.

Extraordinary Provisions

Genesis 22:14 So Abraham called the name of that place, “The LORD will provide”; as it is said to this day, “On the mount of the LORD it shall be provided.”

So we had been mulling the idea of putting our home up for sale for quite some time. The end of 2021 we hit our main goal of paying off a student loan, with only a couple days left in the year. This was a goal that I had mapped out in the basement office when I worked at Uspiritus. I had us paying off the loan in the summer of 2021 so it wasn’t totally accurate, but fairly close! We had talked about president Biden possibly moving on student loan forgiveness and waiting a bit to see if that forgiveness would occur. But, after almost 1 year had passed into his presidency, I was pretty sure that was a pipe dream and not going to happen. So we paid it off. $13,452.51 I believe was the amount. Praise be to God that we were able to pay this off!

This cleared the way for our next goal: moving homes. We moved into our current home roughly 7 years ago. Built in 1952, 4 bed 2 bathroom home on a $71,250 loan after closing costs came out. The first 4.5 years had its difficulties. I recall in our pre-marital counseling, we had to give examples of something we disagreed on. I honestly can’t recall what my gripe was, but I remember my wife’s example was that she didn’t like that I didn’t clean our dog Toby’s poop off the back deck. Man, those were the days! If only our issues remained that small.

But with a nearly 70-year old home, other issues reared their head. The sounds the original HVAC made when we first moved in both resembled and sounded like a rocket ship every time it kicked on. I checked the tag that was nearly faded which told the date the system was installed and I want to say it was 1991. So that made it 24 years old at that time. That was the first major expense, a new HVAC system. Then the issue was taken upstairs where there was no HVAC duct work. So long about May-August, it would be unbearably hot by the time you hit the 6th step going upstairs. The heat just smacked you in the face instantly. So we also fixed that by adding ductless mini splits to both upstairs rooms and saved about $10,000 in the process, but they were still a pretty penny to install. Add to that, the downstairs bathroom was an eyesore. Functionally, it works, but when you have the original wood window seals…in a bathroom…mold comes to the forefront.

Yes, indeed, it is time to move. Our home provided lots of memories in 7 years. We tend to point out the negative; what was unattractive or unappealing. But there’s lots of good memories, too. It was the home that we came home to as husband and wife on a hot late-July night to spend our first evening together before heading off to G-Burg the next day. It was where we held a mini funeral for Theresa’s grandpa with about 10-12 of her family members. Where we had a couple big birthday gatherings. Where we brought our baby boy home to and learned how to be parents in those first really difficult months. It’s where we put Toby to rest. It’s where we hosted a couple of small groups. Where we removed a tree that fell over in our front yard. Where we chased a raccoon out of our attic. Where we’ve walked the sidewalks ALOT! Where our boy learned to crawl and walk and climb and run and eat and talk.

We began talking about listing our home, initially thinking about April 1. But then we began to see homes pop up more and more that caught our eye. Whereas from early January-late February, we didn’t really notice a whole lot of homes available. So we looked at our first home last Friday 3/18. It was okay. Not quite the open concept we were hoping for. Then we moved on to another home on Saturday 3/19. It was super nice but came with a decent price tag with 6 other offers to contend with; made our first offer but didn’t get it. Fast forward to this week, our home was listed Monday morning around 11 am on 3/21. We had 2 showings immediately that evening. Took 3/22 off due to my wife becoming super ill (had 5 showings cancelled). I guess those 5 moved to the next day 3/23 and by the evening of 3/23 we had received our first offer. We cancelled the 5 showings for 3/24 and 2 showings for 3/25 and decided to move forward with that offer, primarily due to the crazy ‘in and out’ nature of having to show our home.

We also looked at 3 homes on 3/23 and 2 homes on 3/25. Add that to the 2 from last week and we viewed 7 homes total to this point and decided to put in our 2nd offer for a home in the southend of Louisville late this evening 3/25. We had initially thought about moving closer to my parents and our church/preschool. But the more we thought about it, the southend seems to be where we are called to be. Preschool will last for 2 more years, tops. And with that, the likelihood of not needing my parents to watch Jackson as much once he starts elementary school.

I acknowledge that I am writing this after we just proposed our offer about 3 hours ago. There’s no 100% shot we will get it. I do feel more strongly about this offer than our 1st offer. But just as the above-verse points out, the Lord will provide, regardless. Our confidence must be in God because life is full of ‘what-ifs’ and home-selling and home-buying are rife with ‘what-ifs’ as well. Homes generally last about 5 days before accepting final offers, at least homes that have real move-in potential. I wouldn’t necessarily consider our home to be a nice home, and it sold in just over 2 days. So with the market the way it is (and has been the last year+), you have to ‘trust God on the go’, so to speak. You have to make quick decisions. You try and listen to other wise voices saying ‘take your time’, but when you know what you’re looking for and you have a range of price you are willing to pay with a limit in mind so that you don’t blow a ton of money, I would define that as ‘trusting God on the go’. One home, the limit might be $305,000. Another home, the limit might be $255,000. The overall goal, of course, in the home-buying process, is hospitality. Not to impress others, but to share life first with our family and to share life with others neighbors and friends and believers. To make space to share life with others.

Sunday we attended membership class at Highview that we had been meaning to attend for months. But we did it! I was still coughing pretty bad but we did it. Thursday, we returned to Highview but this time to the academy for our son’s preschool interview and all went well and he was immediately accepted. Tucked in between that was viewing 5 homes this week, all the while my wife has been super sick and our son has been a trooper through a very different-looking schedule this week.

And now, we await the next step of selling our home with inspection set for 4/2. And on the flip-side, we await to hear about the offer we made on a home by 3/26. I hope this will serve as a place where I can come back to and see God’s hand of provision at work and give him praise and glory and begin to foster a growing faith that trusts Him fully in every season and situation of life.

Walking By Faith

2 Corinthians 5:7 “for we walk by faith, not by sight.”

“Faith” defined is complete trust or confidence in someone or something.

I don’t know that many people have complete trust or complete confidence; as we live in a world of brokenness, broken people, broken promises. But I do know that if we exchange the term ‘faith’, which has mostly religious implications, with the term ‘trust’ – I would wager that every human being is trusting in someone or something. Important to note here that both someone and something are possibilities when it comes to what we can place our faith, or trust, in. Some. Thing. Or to put it another way – Any. Thing. Anything can become our object of faith, of trust, of worship.

In some sense, every human being is on a faith journey. A journey of discovering who or what exactly we are following or worshipping with our lives. To briefly survey American pop culture, things like sports and film and music are on the surface level of things to worship. Deeper still, and more dark, are hard pornography/softer sexualization via advertisements, drug use/alcohol use/partying. We can worship ourselves – excessive exercise or strict regimen when it comes to dieting. An obsession with our physical appearance. A clinging to our significant other.

The issue with all those examples is that they are fading away, and some things/some people are fading faster than others. This is where the above verse from 2 Corinthians is grounded. If we back up to the end of 2 Corinthians 4, we see in verse 16 that ‘our outer self is wasting away’. The self that is wrapped in flesh, that is attached to this world and the things of this world. Every thing that we can see, taste, touch, hear, and feel. All those…things…are fading away. Including us – we also are fading away.

This is part of the mystery of Christ and of the Christian’s walk. We are told that we have been delivered out of the kingdom of darkness and placed into the kingdom of God’s beloved Son. The implication of this is that we no longer live for this world and it’s where 2 Corinthians 5:7 comes into clear focus: “for we walk by faith, not by sight.” 2 Corinthians 4:18 states, “for the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” Transient meaning ‘temporal’, not lasting very long.

There’s a literal world that we have not yet seen; a world that I believe shares similarities with this world. As God, in the beginning, made everything good. I don’t believe that God made mistakes in creation, but made humans who- like sheep- have all gone away from that image in 8 billion different directions. But there’s a heaven to gain that we can’t even imagine, the scripture tells us. No death, no sickness, no tears. The fruits of the Spirit fully experienced, forever. No more sin. Can you imagine?

THIS is the foundation of walking by faith: we walk toward what we cannot see while rightly experiencing the things that we CAN see/taste/touch/hear/feel. Perhaps ‘rightly experiencing’ isn’t the best way to put it. But the scripture also makes clear that we’re not to adopt a ‘no taste – no touch’ policy as we live in the world as believers. God wants us to enjoy His creation, which includes skies and seas and rivers and waterfalls and beaches and mountains and birds chirping and hot cups of coffee and really good sex with our spouse. Cheering for a favorite sports team, exercising, enjoying a cigar or some alcohol, having a great meal or a wonderful conversation are all apart of enjoying our walk and are not bad or evil in and of themselves. But these things, in Christian faith, must be ordered rightly.

Why? Because, for the Christian, everything flows from what is to come in eternity – from the unseen. This doesn’t mean that we reject everything we can see, just that we order these things rightly by putting first things first. A faith in Jesus, a deeper understanding, appreciation, and utter awe at His gospel day in and day out. A deepening love in our relationship with Him. We can be as close or as far as we choose to be as God reveals himself as the welcoming father to his prodigal son(s) and daughters.

This walking by faith, this focusing on eternity, also fuels evangelism. If I really believe that a part of the ‘unseen eternity’ also includes hell for those who refuse Christ or don’t know Christ, then that should shape my heart and my conversation towards that individual. And whenever it does NOT shape my heart, whenever it does NOT take priority, 10 times out of 10, it’s because I’m focused on what I can see/taste/touch/hear/feel THAT day, in THAT moment. If all I’m focused on is what I have going on for my agenda today then I can be sure that I’m not walking by faith. If I’m so engulfed and wrapped up in finances or in sex, then I’m not walking by faith.

And finally, a consistent theme in the scripture is that walking by faith shines most brightly in times of affliction. Suffering should point the compass of our hearts in a right and true direction, that is, in a God-ward direction. Verse 17 of chapter 4 describes the afflictions we endure as ‘light and momentary’. I have found this true. When my view of God, of Jesus, is so small, the things of life that should be classified as light and momentary become ‘huge and epic’ – and God gets pushed to the background.

I’m so thankful that God is merciful. None of us deserve grace. None of us deserve anything good. We’ve all gone astray in our own hearts – giving ourselves over to the darkest of deeds, oftentimes without even batting an eye. And yet, “because the sinless Savior died – my sinful soul is counted free. For God the Just is satisfied to look on Him and pardon me.”

Those things that daily crowd our hearts and minds – where to live, where to send our children to school, the rising cost of food, the price of gasoline, our jobs, COVID-19, which political party is the best, the war in Ukraine, the senseless shootings in our city and amber alerts and car accidents and hurricanes and tornadoes, concerns about our own physical or mental health are ALL light and momentary when compared to eternity. There is no better news than the gospel of Jesus; no other person or thing is worthy of our complete trust and confidence but Jesus. For this salvation saves to the uttermost and saves forever.

May we learn to walk with Jesus by faith – turning away from self-reliance and self-endulgance.

Psalm 54

God, save me by Your name. Vindicate me by your might.

O God, hear my prayer; give ear to the words of my mouth.

Behold, (look!) God is my helper; the Lord is the upholder of my life.

With a freewill offering I will give thanks to your name, O Lord, for it is good.

For You have delivered me from every trouble; and my eye has looked on victorious over my enemies.

This is a shortened version of Psalm 54. Hopefully a way to prompt memorization of this wonderful prayer of David to our Lord.

David here was not laid up in a palace popping grapes and guzzling wine. He was in the thick of it, in a stressful situation where Saul and the Ziphites were actively seeking David to snuff out his life. As Matthew Henry wrote, “David has no other plea to depend upon than God’s name, no other power to depend upon than God’s strength, and those he makes his refuge and confidence.”

David is in a distressing situation. I’m so thankful that God’s Word meets us in distressing situations. I found myself in one yesterday. No, there was not a king named Saul playing hide-and-seek for my life. But I was surprised with an unexpected financial situation, and not even like a definite situation. More so a possibility that something could go financially-south in the near-future. Money issues have a way of doing that; of revealing the idol within my heart. See, it’s not only those with excess money who worship money as an idol. It’s often also those with little-to-no money, constantly worrying about money, that find themselves also worshipping money as an idol. I think this is why the apostle Paul wrote the verse about ‘being content in every circumstance’, whether in want or in plenty, in rich or in poor. Idols cannot make a home in a heart that’s content.

But it’s oft easier said than done. Everything requires money. Homes require money. Diapers and pull-ups and clothes and pre-school require money. Vacations require money. Cars require money. Food and gasoline and that beloved product known as insurance requires money. And it’s hard, for me at least, to view money with a sense of calm because it seems as soon as the calm moment appears, two other things break down that require…you guessed it…money. This isn’t the case, though. In reality, I can look back and see God’s provision through money in our 6.5 years of marriage. Hospital bills and car repairs and mini-splits and HVAC systems and gutter repair and student loans being wiped out. And where I should be giving God that freewill offering of thanks to His name, I often wait for the next thing to spend money on. This is an example of walking in the flesh and it’s a miserable way to live. If I’m only living for the things of this world, I need to readjust my hope and vision b/c two things are fading away: me, along with this world.

So thankful that God hears us whenever we call upon Him. I have many friends that I have not spoken to in years. To be quite frank, if I passed away tomorrow, I would only count myself as having one friend and even he and I have been distant the last couple years since COVID began. We text maybe once a week back and forth to do the minimal least of keeping in touch with each other, but there’s not really a closeness there. Thankful that God isn’t like that. Even though I cease praying to Him for days/weeks/months at a time, God is still present and still sees and God hears and God knows us and God cares for us, truly. Though we have nothing to offer him, God loves us and gives us everything in Himself.

God is my helper. The Lord upholds my life. I need help. Financial temptations pop up again and again and again. I need help to remember that it’s actually God who makes the world go round – not money. It’s God that saves the soul, not ones money. In fact, Scripture paints the disparity between those who love their money and who trust in their money against those that can enter the kingdom of heaven.

The Lord has upheld my life. I had a colonoscopy a few months ago and a couple biopsies were taken and they came back benign. How quickly I just move on and forget this! Our son had an eye surgery Nov. 2 and everything went well. We journeyed to and from Gatlinburg last week and came back through about 30-40 minutes of VERY limited visibility and the Lord got us home. My wife and I received raises to start 2022. I should continually be praising His name!

The name of the Lord is a good name. Money can surely help but it cannot uphold one’s life. Money can provide but it can’t ultimately save. Quite the opposite actually, the bible shows us. God delivers us from every trouble. God is ultimately victorious. We are in a battle and troubles are the norm this side of eternity. But God is with us! He hears us when we call out to Him, He cares for us and loves us, and He is certainly worthy of all glory, honor, power, and praise.

A Sunday Song: “Thank You Jesus For The Blood”

“Thank you Jesus for the blood applied
Thank you Jesus it have washed me white
Thank you Jesus You have saved my life
Brought me from the darkness into glorious light”

What a direct reminder of what occurred at Jesus’ cross. Not to be merely an annual reminder on Good Friday, but a daily reality to walk in: washed clean in the blood of Jesus. Oh what love this is! That takes on my very real and persistent and personal sin and crushes it finally and completely and then declares me a ‘new creation’ in this Jesus who died and then rose from his tomb three days later. Again, not an annual reminder but a daily reality.

“There is nothing stronger Then the wonder working power of the blood
The blood That calls us sons and daughters
We are ransomed by our father
Through the blood, The blood.”

Ransomed, indeed! Ransomed defined is “a consideration paid or demanded for the release of someone or something from captivity.” What the cross demonstrates it also causes us to consider. At the cross, we see the power of God in salvation, breaking us free from sin’s curse and power and ultimate penalty. But we also must consider that we were slaves to sin. The good news of the gospel involves bad news, also: we were sinners. The cross loses its effect if we, in our human ignorance and arrogance, assume that we weren’t ‘really that bad’ to begin with. “Sure, I’ve done some things I ought not to do or spoken mean things or thought a few deplorable things, but surely these are all common experiences of humanity? I’m not that bad.” The cross shows the exact opposite: we are worse off than we thought for, even if we sin once (just once) – we have broken the entire law and incur God’s judgment and wrath. Yet in Jesus, God’s judgement and wrath toward sin (and sinners who commit that sin) was fully exhausted. Now, as God instructed Abraham, if we walk by faith in this Jesus – no judgement or wrath remains because ‘it is finished’ Jesus said upon the cross and God seconded, for God and Jesus are one. However, if we do not cling to the cross of Christ and wonder off on another path, a broad path that leads to destruction that many are on – there is nothing but judgement and wrath for sin and sinners. For sin must be dealt with. God has given us the only solution: his only begotten Son, Jesus. It seems narrow because it is narrow. The way, Jesus said, is narrow, and few there be that find it. Either our sin has been dealt with at the cross of Jesus or our sin is laid upon ourselves for the Day of the Lord. There is no other option because there is only one Savior, and you ain’t it and I ain’t either.

The blood of Jesus is celebrated as we consider what it did, what it does, and what it will continue to do within us. It ransoms us, it saves us from our sins, from the wrath of God that those sins deserve, and carries us into a new position of grace and mercy and favor and love by God and with God. It cleanses us and reveals who we truly are: loved by God, made in His image, restored in Christ to do new works in our life that glorify God. In Christ, we can now be near God and God near us. God can be for us, in Christ, and this is all that truly matters at the end of the day and at the end of a life. “If God be for us – who can be against us?” The answer: no one. I think about being a young boy and being terrified of going to hell. I knew I sinned, I knew what sin was. Like the apostle Paul stated, my paraphrase here, ‘when the law came, I understood what sin was and I immediately, spiritually died because I knew I was guilty.’ For me, that was around the age of 9, a couple months shy of my 10th birthday. I had wrote several questions in a little notebook my grandma had; I would write a question, hand it to her, she would write her answer and hand it back. Yeah, I was extremely shy as a kid. And teen. And adult. I can’t really recall what those questions were, honestly. But I knew they pertained to the gospel and to salvation. I knew I was guilty. And that’s what initially lead me to Christ as Savior.

But guilt itself is similar to a radar. It detects the presence of sin but doesn’t really deal with it. Sure, guilt produces a certain depressed-like feeling for ‘missing the mark’ as the bible calls it. But radars can’t save. Neither can finger-pointers or very accurate stone-throwers. Jesus called them Pharisees in his day but they exist throughout all time and place in human history. What I’m trying to get at is: guilt can draw you to the Savior but it certainly won’t keep you close to Him. We so very badly want a salvation built on works – until we don’t. Grace – true, raw grace – goes against everything society is built upon. It certainly conflicts with Darwin’s theory of evolution where only the strong survive. Certainly, we can look to the followers of Jesus and the early Church and find ourselves within the apostle Paul’s description: ‘not many of you were of noble birth’ (my paraphrase, again). In other words, by worldly standards…most of us are losers. We don’t have wealth, not the brightest bulbs in the drawer, many carry around physical ailments, mental health issues, we have relational problems, we have anxieties and fears. From a more modern viewpoint, we probably aren’t ‘influensters’ with millions of followers. And yet. Here we stand, claiming this one simple truth: Jesus Christ – and Him, crucified. This leads me to another thought, that the hardest thing to accept in life, I realize as I get older, is this reality:

God really loves me.

Period at the end of that sentence. Man, it’s a hard lesson for those who never accept the period there but seem to want to add a comma or another word on to it.

God loves me, if I…

God loves me, so long as I…

God will love me, when I…

God could never love me, because I…

If I believed that God loved me, I don’t think I would’ve been desperate to seek love in failed relationships. If I believed that God loved me, I don’t think I would’ve turned to pornography for so many years to find a thrill or temporal fulfillment. If I believed that God loved me, I don’t think I would’ve sought to please so many people and I would’ve spoken how I truly felt and said what I needed to say.

And yet. Even with all the sin I just described in the above paragraph that spans 33 years – God really loves me. Friends, if we seek to add a comma, add another condition to the reality that God really loves us – then grace is not really grace. God’s grace is unmerited favor not tied to anyone but God Himself. God doesn’t love you because you’re good – His goodness makes you loved. God doesn’t love you because you’re faithful – His faithfulness makes you loved. THIS is the essence of the cross of Jesus: For God so LOVED the world, that He gave Jesus. And until we receive the love of God in Jesus, we will continue on with hopeless lives as orphans – estranged from God as Father and widows – estranged from Christ as our groom/friend. We may be influential in society, we may make tons of money, we may even give to many good causes and charities – but it all comes to an eternal halt at death, apart from Jesus.

The blood of Christ will continue its perfecting work. The sins of my youth produced guilt, as did the sins of my younger adult years, as will the sins of my older adult years. When you sin as a single person, there’s an effect to be sure. But when you get married, the effect of your sin immediately doubles. And then, Lord help us, when you have children – your sin and its effects triples most of the time. What am I getting at here? We will never get beyond needing the blood of Jesus to cover our sin. THIS is the foundation of our faith. If Christ had not died and if Christ was not raised from the dead, we can all stay home and go about our lives as usual. But if Christ did die and if Christ did rise on day # 3, then we have a hope eternal and a gospel to both cling to and share.

Thank you, Jesus.

A Wednesday Word (and Song)

Oh joy that seekest me through pain
I cannot close my heart to thee
I trace the rainbow through the rain
And feel the promise is not vain
That morn shall tearless be

Oh cross that liftest up my head
I dare not ask to fly from thee
I lay in dust’s life’s glory dead
And from the ground there blossoms red
Life that shall endless be

What beautiful lyrics these are! And what a beautiful version and arrangement that Ascend the Hill does here. The life of the faithful Christian does not evade pain, does not run from it – just like the rainbow does not hide in fear from the rain. The rain, and the sun, produce the rainbow. Something beautiful comes from something difficult and ugly and tragic. The gospel of Christ pierces through the pangs of this life with love and hope. The promise of a tearless morn is found only in Jesus.

I cannot close my heart to thee, the one who brings true joy through real pain. I’ve had this recurring thought as of late, “what’s the point?” “we’re going to die in the end”. How can I live joyfully with such a bleak reality set in front of me? 10/10 people die. It’s a guarantee. And if I spent every day dreading that day, how could I really enjoy life? Bleak, I know.

The answer is here: ‘oh cross that liftest up my head’. Praise the Lord that death is sure but is surely not the end. Death is merely a transaction and a transition. A transaction because it’s what I and what we all deserve. The bible tells us ‘the wages of sin is death’. If I work 80 hours, I expect a certain amount of pay on my paycheck. However, in biblical terms, the sum total of our lives work…every second, minute, hour, day, week, and year…results in death, because we have all sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Even our best works, biblically speaking, are like a dirty tampon. Crude? Yes. Reality? Absolutely. And death is a transition from this life to the next, to eternity. It’s not the end but only the beginning.

‘I dare not ask to fly from thee.’ For where else can we go? What other hope can we cling to in this life? The bible tells us, if Christ was not raised from the dead, our faith is in vain – and we should all go about our lives in the way we want because there is no hope. We should, as the bible tells us, ‘eat drink and be merry – for tomorrow we die’. In other words, if Christ wasn’t raised from the dead – there is literally no hope.

But Christ died, and even more than that, was raised back to life on the third day. And because of this transaction, Christ dying and rising in the place of sinners and for sin, we can have victory in the here and now and in the life to come. We can escape the penalty of sin and the fear of death – this is true victory, and it changes everything about life.

On a sidenote, today, a pretty serious thing took place. I received a phone call from my mom around 5:30pm, which was weird, as she doesn’t typically call unless we have a family get-together of some sort and so I figured something was up. And there was. She stated she and my dad were at a restaurant close to their home when dad started acting different, stating he needed to sit down and started sweating profusely, eventually passing out for around three minutes she said. Then the tears erupted and she feared that it might’ve been a stroke but wasn’t sure – just stated that the ambulance was on the way to the restaurant.

It strikes a familiar note, doesn’t it? You get to a certain age, in my case 33 years old, and you sort of assume this is the path of life. I know I am not going to live forever and certainly my parents aren’t going to live forever. It’s familiar because 2020 saw my son, wife, and myself in the ER 3 different times for 3 different reasons in the span of about 10 weeks from late January to April (Easter morning) 2020.

My dad is 67 years old but has really been fairly healthy his entire life. As far as I know, I don’t recall him ever going to the hospital or ER for anything. Routine visits to his primary care doc, sure. The occasional colonoscopy, no doubt. But nothing super serious. Yet, still, nothing prepares you for that kind of phone call – even though, instinctively, you know it’s going to come eventually.

In a moment, I see the overlapping of life, if that’s what it can be called. Memories flood my mind, all the thoughts of the security of life with a really good dad (which as I grow older, I realize how much of a rarity that is in our society). I think to the recent past, as early as yesterday, when we were having dinner together and he was hugging my son (who loves his Paca dearly). Then I see myself with my son and think of my own health issues. And it’s quite overwhelming. The immense joy of life’s relationships mingled with explosive moments of a grief that grips so tightly. It is a conundrum that’s hard to crack and understand.

I love my dad. I am alot like him. He’s not much on emotion. He even wanted to come get Jackson tomorrow and carry on as if nothing had happened. That’s what I would do, tbh. “Life is to be lived – so get on with it.” But sometimes rest is of absolutely necessity. And after receiving a text around 11:30pm from dad stating that he was heading home ‘starving’ but otherwise doing good, I smiled and thanked the Lord.

Life is so precious and oh. so. fleeting. This is why faith in Jesus is essential. It’s a hope that pierces through the pangs of this life – which at times can be quite painful – and brings that rainbow through the rain. And no, this is not a cheerful sort of optimism or the ‘power of positive thinking’. This is acknowledging these two realities of life: 1.) the wages of sin is death but. But. BUT. 2.) the free gift of God is eternal life in Jesus Christ our Lord.

Life that shall endless be. Come, Lord Jesus.

Matthew 9:35 – And Jesus went throughout all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues and proclaiming the gospel of the kingdom and healing every disease and every affliction.

A Wednesday Word (and Song): Genesis 22:14

So Abraham called the name of that place, “The LORD will provide”; as it is said to this day, “On the mount of the LORD it shall be provided.” Genesis 22:14

I missed the Sunday song this past Sunday, but songs are good to sing every day, so I posted this one above called ‘Come Ye Sinners’. What a beautiful rendition this is. “I will arise and go to Jesus – He will embrace me in His arms, In the arms of my dear Savior, Oh there are ten thousand charms.” A simple chorus and message: Jesus will always receive us if we will receive Him. A call for sinners (which, spoiler alert, is all of us) to receive the love of God found in Jesus.

The word for today is our family memory verse which is taken from a part of Genesis 22:14. The context here is so important: Abraham is told by the Lord to sacrifice his only son Issac as a test of Abraham’s faith and devotion to the Lord. God demanded the most precious thing Abraham had – a son – and Abraham obeyed fully. However, the Lord already had a plan to provide a sacrifice and stops Abraham right before he drops the knife to slay his son – a ram whose horns are caught in a nearby thicket.

The gospel implications are soaking this passage: what God calls Abraham to do in giving up his only son Issac – God actually did in giving up His only Son, Jesus. And the sacrifice of Jesus is a much better sacrifice than the blood of ‘bulls and goats’ (or rams, even) as the book of Hebrews states. Indeed, Jesus is a perfect sacrifice.

And Jesus is God’s ultimate provision for sinners. God doesn’t tell us to obey the 10 commandments and we’ll be accepted. God gives us the 10 commandments to reflect His own holiness and to show us that we cannot keep the commandments – this makes us aware of our sin and our need for a Savior, a perfect Savior. Jesus is that perfect Savior. The only perfect sacrifice. We don’t ‘arise and go to Jesus’ to get the next 5 steps to lead a better life or be a more influential person. We arise and go to Jesus for love because the root of most every sin is a failure to receive the love of God in Jesus, day in and day out. If my eyes turn from Jesus – I am far more lustful. I am far more anxious. I am far more envious of others. I am far more prone to impatience and anger.

And the root of all these things, down deep at the root, is that I don’t really believe God loves me. This is the foundation of the gospel: ‘for God so loved the world, that he gave His only begotten Son.’ If I have Jesus, I have everything and am in need of nothing – humanly speaking. I don’t need to lust for sexual pleasure because Jesus and God’s Word is pleasing to me. I don’t need to worry because God clothes the grass of the field and takes care of those birds in the air. I don’t need to wish my life looked more like someone else’s because Jesus laid down his very life for me and nothing compares to that. And if my eyes are upon Jesus, I can forgive any sin and shift my perspective of any ‘trial’ I may be in, even a trial my own doing or the doing of someone else. Jesus invites us to come and we must ‘arise and go’ to Him.

God is the God who provides – ultimately in Jesus and in the day to day details of our lives. How many times have we found ourselves in dark, desperate situations (sometimes being aware in the moment and many times looking back to see just how dark and desperate the situation really was) and God provides a way of escape. It may not have looked like a ram caught in a thicket. Maybe it was a horrible relationship that God brought us out of. Maybe it was a huge bill that we had no idea how it was going to be paid. Maybe it was waiting a long time (as in the case of Abraham and Sarah) for a child. Maybe it was an illness. Maybe we lost a close friend or loved one. And maybe, if none of those hit us in the heart, maybe it was the thousands upon thousands of times we have failed God and Jesus still opens up his arms and says ‘come to me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest’. The rest God gives is not found in a bigger bank account, a nicer home, a better job, everything lining up just right for us that day or that year or that season of life. The rest God gives only comes through that perfect sacrifice – Jesus Christ. Let us arise, knowing that God gives us life and breath and a heart beat and HAS already given us his one and only Son, his everything – and go to Jesus, today.